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For This I Love

United We Eat
Just A Thought
Bulling is so prominent!!!
Inquest for Jeffrey Baldwin
LoveCry Has Grown!!!
Child Abuse
Prevent Sexual Abuse
Child neglect
For This I Love
Chum Christmas Wish
Happy Holidays

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For This I Love Myself!

 

I was once just like you

I hated myself back then

I know you very well

For this, you don’t like me at all

I am the rejected one

I was the one that no one really wanted around

So yes, I went away

And it looked to you, as though I were abandoning you

Did you ever stop to think or try to understand

How I was feeling, the pain I was enduring?

 

I left because I had to cry and search

Without your judgments, pity and anger

Without interference and your truths

I had to find out how to stop the pain

How to see and correct what was wrong inside of me

How to change the way I was thinking and acting

How to stop the tormenting screaming in my mind

To end the jumbled thoughts that had tied themselves in knots

And caused the pain in my head

While my heart was crashing and shattering

Into fragments of dust

 

Questions had to be answered

I left to find the answers

Things had to change

I left to learn that change

The cycle of abuse and lies had to be broken

I had to break it

 

Why was my family hating each other and calling that hate love?

 

How did love get so twisted in our minds?

 

Why were there so much: judgment, jealousy, anger, resentment, pride and competition

Between people who professed to love each other so deeply?

 

How do we call degradation, humiliation, intimidation and non-forgiveness love?

 

How do we call deceit, denial and pretence love?

 

If we speak to each other with anger in our hearts

Should we call that love?

 

If our rage causes us to become physically violent

Should we call that love?

 

If we are jealous and pretend not to be

Should we call that love?

 

If we judge and mock each other

Should we call that love?

 

If we gossip behind each other’s back

Should we call that love?

 

If we fight and argue

Should we call that love?

 

If we strike each other in our rage

Should we call that love?

 

Then if we hold resentment for all of this

Should we call it love?

 

Our family taught that if we did not fight and argue we did not love???

Therfore if we did not abuse each other we did not love!

I had to somehow change this belief!

 

Yes I went away to find the answers

To change the things that had to be changed

To understand how it all got this way

To deal with my pain and forgive myself and all of you

To learn how to truly love

And yes I found the answers

I would love to share them with you

I stepped out of denial

Broke the cycle of abuse

And Into LOVE

For  myself, my children, my grandchildren, their children and so on

For this I am grateful to myself

For this I now Love Myself

And I can teach my children how to love

Maybe my grandchildren will be loved!

 

Angel

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